World Suicide Prevention Day

This is not an easy post to write. I've lost two friends to suicide. Several months ago, I almost lost another. Last year, I almost lost myself.

Last year I was diagnosed with depression. I started medication. When the medication was proving to be ineffective, my dosage was doubled.

I have cut myself. I have contemplated ending, what I considered to be, a waste of a life. But luckily for me, I have the most supportive friends and family. I have parents who love me unconditionally. I have friends who put up with my erratic behavior and listen to whatever I have to say. I have a support system that will always be there for me.

Of course, not everyone is as supportive. I've had several people, whom I thought were understanding friends, tell me to "just get over it." As if I could move through the darkness if I just smiled a bit more or tried a bit harder. And therein lies the problem of the dialogue surrounding mental health today. Many people do not realize that a lack of motivation or positivity is a symptom of depression, not the cause of it. The cause of depression is a chemical imbalance that the affected individual has no control over.

So what can we do?

We can start by genuinely listening to others. So many people are fighting internal battles that go beyond depression or other mental illnesses. Oftentimes, these people just want to be heard and want validation that their struggles are real. In your next conversation with someone, try truly listening to what they have to say instead of just waiting for your turn to speak. Ask them questions about their experiences instead of interjecting about your own.

We can learn to understand that things that may be easy to us, may not be easy to others. I'm sorry to all the friends I blew off when I was struggling to make it out of bed. I know that seems basic- just getting up in the morning- but I promise some days it was the most difficult thing I had to face. Understanding what someone is struggling with and not taking it too personally if they have a bad day will go a long way in supporting a friend.

We can be open to conversations about mental illness without jumping to conclusions. If I didn't have supportive friends and family, I'm not sure where I would be right now. Unfortunately there are many out there who are not as fortunate; many who are unable to seek help. If they trust you enough to share their struggles, do not tell them to just try harder and get over it. You can be open with them and tell them that you do not know a lot about their problem, but that you would like to learn more so that you can better support them.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"